By: Annabel Onyando
Somalilandsun -Are you closer to achieving your goals for 2016 than you were in 2015? Did you set goals for the year? If not, is it because you never get to achieve them anyway? You are not alone, many of us get tired of trying when we have not been successful in past. We, therefore, choose to stay in our comfort zone; in jobs we do not like, with people who hate us and in physically and emotionally abusive relationships – simply paralysed by the fear of being and failing alone.
We do this despite knowing that there is nothing impossible. There is the same chance of success and failure all things being equal and we can increase the chances of success just as we do failure if we do not try.
● The first thing you must do to move out of this negative mindset is commit to doing anything in our power to think and act differently. Where there is a will there is a way. Below are some ways to find your way beyond mediocrity and mindsets that enslave and hold you back.
● Acknowledge and get rid of negative habits; Some things that can make you not move ahead include anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and all manner of negative emotions. Acknowledging these negative traits helps you with planning and an understanding of the skills and abilities you want to develop. You will be able to build a roadmap of what you need to do to achieve your goal and even get started. It does not mean everything will work according to plan, but you have a starting point.
● Analyse your position; you cannot know where you are going if you do not know where you’ve been, where you are, and the roadmap to where you want to go. A simple analysis of where you are and what got you where will help you synchronise your thoughts, then see how you could leave the past ad determine what you want for your future.Take your time to think this through however do not stay there. Many people get stuck in analysis paralysis. Even is you are not totally clear about where you want to go you, at least, have a general direction of where you do not want to be….in your past. Move away from any situation that keeps you in the same place be it mentally, emotionally or physically.
● The next step is to be busy; focus on the present and the opportunities you have now and what you can do or be. Life is seasonal and whatever phase you find yourself in it is just passing by. What is using up your time now? Change what needs to change and separate what you do from who you truly are. This not only helps you see who you could be but also grounds you as you realise that others around you are not what they do but are also on a journey just like you. Ask yourself what your assets, talents and skills are.
● This information will help you scan your environment and decide where we want to go to moving forward. Dream bigger than you ever have because truly there is nothing impossible. Understand that the bigger the dream, the bigger the challenges and if you prepare yourself psychologically you will be ready for it. You would not even think of really big ideas if in your subconscious mind you are not wired for it – your mind would be incapable of comprehending it. Note that this is different wanting something just because another person has (not having your own dreams or being jealous)
● Change your ways; Different things help us renew our mind so we can think and dream bigger dreams for ourselves. Making new friends or reaching out to the people we would like to be like, reading books and opening up our mind to a different way of thinking and being, and moving from a confining environment. Research has shown we earn in the range of 30% of our friends income. So if you want more one thing you can do is improve the quality of friends you have, what you read and where you hang out.
‘You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with’ – Unknown
● Join Support groups; people who are looking to achieve the same goal(s) or bigger help you keep focused. One has to learn to manage the challenges of life without letting them keep them down. Hang out with like-minded people; people who have achieved what you want to achieve. Support groups keep us from looking back while being understanding about our situation. They also help you learn to forgive yourself. You need to learn to forgive and love yourself again.
● In all this you should realise life is not fair. Others in the same position may have it easier than you or never have had to face the situation you are in. You too have or may have had windfalls in life you did not deserve. Life has seasons and you need to embrace the season you are in as it is an opportunity to be better. You grow during difficult situations and are a better person for it.
A point to note is that often our fears are much bigger than reality and even in a truly bad situation we have the strength to go through much more than we imagine. Often our biggest fears actually do not manifest so we are better off not feeding the thought and paralysing any actions in a positive direction.
So, keep your head up and having set your goals and daily targets, do something every day towards the place you want to be.
The author Annabel Onyando is Business Coach and Advisor with Goldman Sachs, she is also Founder Synergy For Africa Business Blog
Copyright: Somalilandsun, 2016. www.somalilandsun.com